Asking yourself these questions will help you hone in on and select the most appropriate ground rules for your group:

• Who will be in the meeting? What is the group profile?
• How do you imagine people feel about coming to this meeting?
• What tendencies are known or anticipated for a group like this during discussions?
• What about their discussion style might you want to promote or curb?
• What group dynamics, issues or tensions are there? What is your intention – to get ahead of those or contain them? To draw those out? To simply bring awareness and normalize them?
• What’s critical for the group to keep in mind in order to be successful at the activities planned in this meeting?

Here are some commonly used ground rules (collected from colleagues and meetings we’ve been a part of). Land on between 3-5 ground rules and after introducing and explaining what each one means to the group, consider asking the group for additions.

• Show up and CHOOSE to be present (treat this as the most important conversation you can be in and silence or put away technology)
• Participate 100%
• Everyone participate, no one dominate
• Share the airtime
• One speaker at a time
• Be brief and meaningful when voicing your opinion
• State your “headline” first, then the supporting information as necessary
• Success depends on participation (share ideas, ask questions, draw others out)
• Share your unique perspective
• Share your experience (not others’)
• Allow every voice to be heard
• Be generative and use “Yes…and” thinking (not, “Yes…but”)
• Listen to understand
• Listen with care instead of “building your story”
• Meaning is in the listener
• Listen from the “We” but speak from the “I”
• Respect each others’ thinking and value their contributions
• Listen for understanding – inquire (ask) before you advocate (persuade)
• Be aware of meaningless abstraction
• Treat everything you hear as an opportunity to learn and grow
• Articulate hidden assumptions
• Challenge cherished beliefs
• Seek common ground and understanding (not problems and conflict)
• Disagree without being disagreeable
• Remember responsibility and non-defensiveness
• Speak honestly
• Use I statements
• Seek unity (not separation)
• Be positive, non-judgmental and open to new ideas
• Speak your truth, without blame or judgment
• Be intrigued by the difference you hear
• Expect to be surprised
• All ideas are valid
• Critique ideas, not people
• Stay open to new ways of doing things
• Ask “what’s possible?” not “what’s wrong”? Keep asking
• Listen for the future to emerge
• Stay at the strategic level (out of the operational)
• With transformation, expect anxiety
• Let go of the outcome
• Manage group work
• Staying on schedule is everyone’s responsibility; honor time limits
• Stay out of the weeds and the swamps
• Confidentiality (whatever is said/written in the room stays in the room)
• Bring your humor and have fun!

Once you set your meeting guidelines, be sure that all of your participants are aware of your expectations. A great way to keep them reminded, without saying a word, is to use a visual agenda. That way you have a graphic reference of the ground rules in plain view where they can help the group regulate themselves. (Check out our post to learn other benefits of a visual agenda, “5 Ways to Manage Your Meetings”)

What are the ground rules for your meetings? Have you ever seen a meeting derail because the facilitator failed to provide guidelines? Tell us about it below.

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